Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
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