bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
