By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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