the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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