I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Randomize
