How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
