I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize