The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
