so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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