Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Randomize
