community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
