I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
