I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
What a dumb baby whore.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
