There is no way he is gay with that hair.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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