I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
