what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
