I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize