you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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