I think i peed on brittanys purse
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
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