I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
