i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
