At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
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