I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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