I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Operation Purity has been aborted
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
