please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
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