toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize