Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Randomize
