What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
