There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
