I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize