eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Randomize
