i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
