there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
