I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
