yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
