I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize