I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize
