New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Randomize
