If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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