Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
