are you still at the devil's house?
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
You are a booty call, not a friend.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
