She is in my trunk
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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