Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
