so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
this boner is exhausting
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
