I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
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