at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
