My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
