He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I'm getting married
To pizza
I was not drunk enough for that final.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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