Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
