i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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