What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
