so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Randomize
