she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize