Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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