I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
