I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize