Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
