Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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