I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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