I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Randomize
