I cut my penus on the lid.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
